Realization.

I had a good talk with one of my best friends this morning. She's known me since I was about 5 years old and if anyone knows about the inner workings of my brain and heart, it's most definitly her. She can tell when I'm sailing through life or just inching through it, praying to get by. It was really refreshing to hear about her summer. Sometimes I feel so caught up in the performance aspect of my life, getting ready for auditions, voice lessons, dance class, that sometimes I dont stop and think about how big the world really is. Dont get me wrong, I love love love where my life is right now. But My friend goes to Africa and to Poland and the kids she talks to there arent focused on what part they're gonna get next semester or the dress they're wearing to next weeks party--those kids are thinking about where they're next meal is coming from, and where they're going to sleep tonight. And so, in listening to her talk about her summer, realization hits me; my goal in life is to be able to stand on a stage and entertain people, to make them forget their hardships, the things they struggle with, and make them smile and care and feel for a particular story--and in a way, my friend's purpose is that same. She however doesnt need approval by an audition or a cast list, she gets it from someplace higher.

I think that's something to learn from :)

meg

To Do List!!

TO DO: (1 month before school begins)

1. Work audition material
2. Reread The Women (give to skenny next wednesday)
3. FIND All Card (if not, get new one at nku next wednesday)
4. Buy books (at Off Campus Bookstore) other books get at Half-Price
5. Buy mattress pad, poster, additional room stuff (extra bins for books?)
6. Have dad check on car/ go to kroger get mucinex /have mom get singular/have dad get sheets
7. FIND pearls for audition dress
8. Voice Lessons with Sharon every Monday at 6:30
9. Voice Lesson with Lisa next Wednesday at Nku
10. Attempt to tan!

-meg :)

How to Return Home. pt2

So after a wonderful past few months with hardly any problems...a storm cloud has come through.

I know, I know, melodramatic. But, why is it my mom can make me feel like the biggest piece of crap within 10 minutes? My mom and I were starting to really get along, I was opening up to her (something I rarely do) and it was finally all pretty good. And then...I came home. Something about coming home after not being here a while is always tense. It irritates me that just b/c I'm home it means that if anyone in the house is unhappy for whatever reason, it immediately gets placed on me. I'm mad and upset. But I know why--Im upset b/c I dont like living here and would rather live at school and occasionally see my family (seeing as I get along with them better when I'm about 2 hours away and can screen my calls), and I'm mad because I feel like there's no out from here. It's as if it's easy to leave this house (whether that be to do a show elsewhere or to nku) but it's not easy returning. Why is that? I thought dad not being here would solve everything (and true, it makes us feel much safer) but still, I find myself dreading coming back to this even as much as I did years ago.

Anyway--I'm going to take advantage of this frustration and clean my room...and dream about going back to school.

meg

Good Day.

hahahahaha.

Why is it my plans change so frequently? lol

I got an email today from one of the directors of JCC Camp here in Louisville to help work dance camp next week! yaaaay! What's even better is that they're going to need me for 2 weeks and going to let me off for a day so I can still have my voice lesson with Lisa and get all my books/parking permit for school! I'm psyched! extra money!

My voice is still tired and I really shouldnt talk at all but unfortunately my family doesnt like silence so....lol I bought some movies today (3 for $20!) "27 Dresses" "Enchanted" and "Once"--I'm watching "August Rush" right now which I adore!

Tommorow me and ruthie are going to have Dirty Dancing movie night, we're watching the 1st and the 2nd, just like at school; pizza and movies.

AND I landed a double piourette today! I was so beyond thrilled...things are definitly looking up.

meg :)

Summer.

SOOOO...summer continues.

Still trying to rest my voice, it was exhausted by the end of this weekend. I'm excited though--voice lesson with lisa next week (yaaay!) movie night with ruthie on thursday night and movie night with sara soon!

that's all.
meg :)

p.s. autumn didnt win legally blonde, but she does get to understudy and be in the ensemble. hopefully she'll get to go on a lot!

Long Day.

dear lord, today was lllloooooooooooooooong.

Anyway--so we went to the auditions for AI at about midnight and it ended up that they werent going to let anyone line up til 6 AM, so we slept on the concrete next to the car. Dean and I kept waking up so we could see if people were lining up. Anyway--so looong story short, AI auditions are kind of crap. We auditioned for some producers and they hadnt passed barely ANYONE! How disappointing! and we all did really well! But they said we had good voices and Autumn got to sing for E TV news and we both got interviewed for the Courier, so whatevs. But still, this weekend was lots of fun regardless.
But I feel like I've driven allll weekend and I'm EXHAUSTED.

Legally Blonde finale is on tonight! yaaaay!

meg :)

Thoughts on Falmouth.

It's over, it's really over :(
Last night during "Leavin'" I got choked up thinking it was the last time I was singing that song (that was the 1st song Terril, Bryant, and I sang at my audition; I had been so nervous and it took me back to that moment) and I got choked up. Anyway--it was a good show with a great crowd. And really sad knowing that in a few minutes I'm going to be leaving Falmouth for good and heading back to Louisville. I'm so glad this summer happened. It was random and unexpected and proved to me once again that God has the best plans. This show got me my confidence back, made me some great friends, and allowed me to do what I love; perform as a job. I met so many kind-hearted people here and I'm never going to forget them. People who have inspired me to be a better person and to follow my dreams (as corny as that sounds).

I'll write about Idol tommorow when the whole process is over :)


meg :)

Complicated Weekend.

OK, complicated weekend!
Schedule:

Friday: "Big River" photocall 5:15
Show
Leave directly for Louisville, stop at house for birth certificate, drive to Freedom Hall, meet dean somewhere

Saturday: Register
Drive back to Falmouth
Do LAST show :(
Go back to house, sleep and clean room

Sunday: Leave in morning, possibly pick up dean at nku, drive straight to Louisville

Monday: Auditions...loooooong line.

nuf' said.

meg :)

Thoughts on Idol, Sleep, and Performing.

Sooo the AI Fox Idol thing turned out weird, they liked my voice but i dont think the song showcased everything my voice has to offer. I didnt feel bad at all about it, a lot of people who were really good werent passed to the next round and a lot of people got some heavy-handed, kinda mean criticism thrown at them. So I was happy with what i got.

Anyway--so I did today's show running on 3..count em...THREE hours of sleep. I was physically okay, vocally exhausted. I literally prayed before I went on stage, "god please please please just let it come out and let it come out STRONG" thankfully it did, but I owe that to the man upstairs b/c at one point my throat was so sore. I know all I need is a good night's sleep/only 3 more shows left :( Which makes me sad.

Yesterday I was reminded by a good friend not to let anything get between me and my love for performing/dream. It was the most unexpected phone call but I am so glad that she shared all she did with me, her thoughts on performing, and not letting things get in the way of your dreams. It was exactly what I needed to hear, and it made the show this afternoon mean so much more to me. I just kept thinking, "I love doing this show, I love singing these songs, I love this character, and ya know what? I'm happy" And my friend told me that she hopes that one day I can call her and tell her, "I made it". I literally almost started crying at one point; I'm so sensitive, sometimes an encouraging word makes me all teary-eyed. sometimes I feel that as a student of musical theatre, I can get sidetracked into thinking "I'm not right for blah blah blah" or "I need to change this and this and this about myself in order to achieve this and this and this". It was just a nice reminder that sometimes all I need to ask myself is am I doing what I love and am I happy with it. According to my friend, if the answer to both of those questions are yes, than it's all good.

It's only 8 pm and I want to go to bed RIGHT NOW. We're having a cast party/picnic after the show tommorow here at the house I'm staying at, so I need to clean my room and my bathroom asap.

meg :)

Major Blessing.

So what started off as a relaxing day ended up in me driving back to louisville b/c I have to sing in some kind of competition tommorow! EEK! To make a long story short, my mom entered me (just my email) in some kind of Idol contest and now I have to go sing at 5 AM tommorow lol

On my way back to louisville, i got a call from one of my friends from the show who just really encouraged me, it was such a god-thing. i am always so grateful for the adults in my life that encourage me to pursue doing what i love. major blessing.

meg :)

So Much Better Than Before!

haha just got done watching "the search for the next elle woods"--UGH I hate it when reality shows cut to commercial before an elimination or something lol
Anyway--I think it's going to be down to the final 2 that I predicted it would be a few episodes ago, I just hope I dont miss the finale b/c of a certain audition i'm going to be going on next monday...yikes.

Laying out today was awesome! I dont know why I hadnt thought about doing that all summer-I got a little color and it just really felt great! Autumn called and we talked for...3 hours! It didnt even feel like 3 hours! haha we're crazy

Sooo tommorow is the last day off before we do the show 4 more times...and then it's over :(

meg

Beautiful Day.

So plans changed today lol Kyle didnt feel good so I had lunch with deanie at subway...fun times. But yea, sooo I'm just resting my voice and hanging out and reading. I got this book called "making it on broadway: actor's tales of climbing to the top" for my birthday and while the title sounds incredibly cheesy, it's SUCH a good book. It's full of stories from performers about life on the road and in NewYork and it's just really interesting. A lot of them had really humble beginnings and it's refreshing to read about some of their lives before they became extremely successful.

I'm kinda bored. It's an absolutely beautiful day outside, I really should lay outside and attempt to tan my incredibly white skin. Soooo maybe I'll do that. lol Only one more week of the show and then it's baaaack to Louisville.
meg :)

p.s. 'legally blonde' reality show tonight...I'm not ashamed of the fact that I am completely hooked on that show. Mainly b/c it's has the incredible seth rudetsky as the girls' vocal coach. There's one girl on the show who is incredibly talented and I really would love it if she won, b/c she's a good singer...AND a good actor. Which is refreshing to see. lol

4 more.

4 more shows to go :(
Saaad. I'm going to be really sad to see this show end, not gonna lie. All year I've been in shows that I havent been upset that are over, but this one has a very special spot in my heart...I've gotten the megan voice back and I finally have some confidence.
I'm so excited I get to hang out with my friend kyle tommorow! I hadnt seen him all summer until the party this past Friday and we're going to get lunch and watch some movies, yay!
Today's show was a blast, we had a completely full house and the audience really seemed to love the show! That was exciting. I am happy to have 2 days off to rest and everything, especially b/c I'm going to be really nervous on Wednesday and Friday! I love it when my friends can come to see my shows but it also puts some pressure on me to have the best show possible!
I have a new love--Seth Rudetsky's Broadway Chatterbox, I've found all of these interviews on YouTube with him and broadway performers, I looooove it.
meg :)

WHEW!

WHEW! Today was non-stop!
I went to Jake's party last night and didnt get back til 3! Got up at 6:30 AM, went to Lexington to see Leslie's GSA showcase, drove from the showcase straight to Falmouth to do the show! Needless to say, I am BEAT. It was funny to me though, I hadnt had longer than 3 hours of sleep and the show still went well! yay!
I'm sooo excited b/c one of my good friends that used to be an acting teacher/coach for me is coming to the show on Wednesday! and Sharon, my voice teacher in Louisville, is going to come on Friday! I'm sure I'll be nervous before both of those shows--those two havent seen me in a show in about 2-3 years! YIKES.
I'm going to go read some more of the Julie Andrews biography and then gooo to bed!
Night!
Meg :)

Mary Jane's Hair. HA.

hahahaha...ok, i'm STILL laughing about today's show. First of all, my grandma was there so I was a tad nervous b/c she hasnt heard me sing in about 2 years lol

But so we get to the funeral scene (like normal) and I lean over to 'comfort' one of my 'sisters', and EEK! my wig and her hair get CAUGHT on each other. AND we couldnt get them detached! My first line was coming up and I'm sooo close to just throwing my wig off, but I ended up having to pretty much damage my wig but I ripped it and oh dear lord, for the rest of the scene Mary Jane's hair looked like crap! It was sooo funny though. I wanted to die laughing. What's worse is the audience could see me and melanie trying to pull our hair apart lol haha

Apart from that, the candle burning me during one of my songs and my mic coming on and me not being ready to sing backstage and so the audience heard a little bit of me speaking...great show lol

I'm sooo happy though, my sister is at GSA right now for musical theatre and I was really bummed b/c I thought I was going to have to miss her final day performance and my mom called me last night to tell me that i actually have an evening show on saturday so I can go to her performance in the afternoon! yaaay!

But yea, today was pretty hilarious.

And I'm reading Julie Andrew's biography--this woman in the cast who is the sweetest person I have ever met gave it to me (how nice was that? When I'm older, I hope I'm as sweet as her), and I adore it already! I'm reading it with Julie's british voice in my head...oh how I love "The Sound of Music"...more than words can describe!

meg :)

Almost Over :(

1 more show down...8 more to go!
Excited to go back to Louisville but sad to see it kinda ending :( I cant wait to hang out with some of my friends that I've been wanting to hang out with more this summer (cant wait for me and sara to watch "beaches"--yay!) and I have almost a full month-month and a half to get my audition material together! (which makes me feel good)
it's been a great show to do and working with Kincaid has been great too.
Plus the fact that I've been getting to belt a little and it's been so nice not to crack my way through a show (like I used to a few years ago), I used to get so scared to sing and now I feel so comfortable--yaaay (finally!)

My mom is coming to the show tommorow...again.
She's come to it about 3 times now...stage mom anyone? lol just kidding, it's great that she's come so much. She says it keeps getting better and better throughout the run.
It's gotten so hard not to crack up during parts of the funeral scene--dear god, there are some times that I just want to completely lose it b/c I'll see someone either making a silly face or remember something funny someone's said about that scene...'say it again, say it again, say it again!'---sooo hard not to laugh. it's the cheesiest line EVER lol

Definitly had a "open mouth, insert foot" moment today--god, I felt so ridiculous, something just flew out of my mouth and I thought, 'that was so stupid!' oh well, lol

I've gotten so addicted to the "Search for the New Elle Woods" show--I really want this one girl to win, b/c she's older than the 18,19,20 year olds and she's paid her dues to the theatre world, it would be nice to see someone who truly deserved it to get the part. But I've become a complete nerd about it-plastered to the tv at 10pm on Mondays lol it's kinda sad, but really funny. my mom is addicted to it now, she calls me and goes, "who do you think will get voted off?" HA.

megan :)

boooored.

Ok, so i'm boooored lol
I'm excited though--I've started to get my audition package together for the fall semester (and i have about 2 months til) so I'm happy about that. And I found my dress, now all I have left is to find a monologue and work my songs/monologues with sharon when the end of the show closes!

yaaay!

meg :)

Nostalgic.

so I'm pissed b/c I already wrote this blog, but here goes again. So the show went great yesterday, no line flubs or anything, which was great b/c we had a big audience--yaaay! and yaay for 2 days off! I get to just hang out and read (I bought a Reba biography at Half Price books in Louisville and the Devil Wears Prada) so I'm going to be reading those and working on a few songs.

I had the most perfect wake up this morning. A message on my phone saying I had a new email which turned out to be a new honesty box message, someone had left the most sweetest note in my box and it really made my day :) It was the nicest way to wake up.

Talked to melissa for a long time last night. It was so great to hear how she's doing. I'm so proud of her. She's doing exactly what god wants her to do with her life and is such a great listening ear and is really inspiring for people. I cant wait to see what happens for her after college, cause I'm sure it'll be amazing. Same with my friend sara. We met for coffee over my week off and we hadnt seen each other in 6 months and we picked up where we left off, it's just really nice to have friends from high school that i know I'll be friends with in 10 years b/c we make it a priority to stay in touch with each other. And my friends have been so supportive of my theatre life and are the first ones jumping up and down with me when I get a part in a show. Ok, so I'm feeling nostalgic, but who cares lol
-meg :)

Back to Falmouth...

Ok, so I've calmed down a little since the previous post...
Anyways, the housing situation was all worked out and now I get to room with KP and with a really nice girl (Amanda) who's going to be a freshman, I was soooo relieved, she seems really sweet and I think all of us are going to get along really well.

SO my week vacation was over, before I left yesterday afternoon my mom and I went to Macy's and found the CUTEST dresses, I got 2 :) After that I drove alllll the way back to Falmouth, and sooo I'm back!

We have a show today and not gonna lie, I'm kinda nervous about it, we havent done the show in a week and it was running so smoothly lol and I'm a little nervous because 2 of my mom's friends that I know really well and I used to do shows with their kids are coming with her to the matinee today. YIKES. So I really really want to have a good show.

Well...I should go take a shower and start getting ready, our calltime is a little earlier so I guess we can run specific scenes and songs.

meg :)

SERIOUSLY?!

UGH. PEOPLE.
Seriously???!!
I'm sorry blog readers, I'm currently realing from something that I've recently found out that I am FURIOUS about. And that's all I'm going to say.

Sometimes I wish God would seriously just smack people down.

seriously.

meg