Many the miles...to the church.

Ok, venting time.
When you grow up, things change. Opinions change, outlooks on things, beliefs etc. My first semester of college I went to Bible college. When I got there I realized that it wasn't for me and wasn't where I was supposed to be. In the last 3 years, a lot of people's way of life have changed--I watch my classmates get married, have kids, switch majors...because that's how life is...things change. The biggest frustration for me has always been people. Not all people, but people who just dont seem to get change. And feel that it is their business to point this out. I still go to church, I still have faith, I may go out with friends and have a drink b/c it's legal but in no way does that give someone the right to judge. God knows hearts, people don't. When I was in high school, being judgemental was an everyday way of life. I cringe when I remember the comments I made about people in my school, and to be honest I was one of the crazy religious people who forgot to love people. So sometimes when I get facebook posts/messages that have hints of judgement from people or references to that "good little sweet christian girl", it really gets under my skin. B/c you know what? that high schooler who walked around condemning everyone was so unhappy and only liked her life b/c it was "perfect"--life isnt perfect, things arent perfect, and people aren't perfect. This is what I know now.

I'm a liberal, theatre student, 21 year old...that goes to church. And I love people for exactly how they are. And ya know what? I'm fine with that.

many the miles.
meg :)

On my way...

and as I'm going along
I carry with me
promises that can't go wrong
as I tavel on, my way.

Left my troubles all behind me
back there where I climbed on board
Jordan River's where you 'll find me
it's wide, but not to wide to forge
and as I'm going along
I carry with me,
promises that can't go wrong
as I travel on...my way!
-Violet the Musical.

Perfection.

So Long, Farewell.

sooo back to Louisville--show's over. After a crazy last few days of shows and literally no sleep and driving over 200 miles, Guys and Dolls closed for good. Last time in Falmouth--it was bittersweet, but still, I'm glad to move on. I'm looking forward to what else I get to do with my summers from here on out. I was completely exhausted on Sunday, having partied with some of the cast the night before and barely getting any sleep the night before that...and then everyone and their mom decided to call me as I was driving back to Louisville!

So this week I'm a counselor for the Paddlewheel Musical Theatre camp, the kids perfom on Saturday, and besides from this week, I have lots of down time til I start school again in late August. LOTS of down time--hellooo audition material!

And I've rediscovered my love...Heine Brothers' Coffee...thank god for vanilla chai.

many the miles.
meg :)

exhausted.

so...exhausted. Yesterday I drove back from Louisville to Falmouth where me and Patrick talked to some teenagers at the public library about theatre and how we got to where we are. It was a lot of fun, sharing stories and answering questions like, "do you really like...kiss on stage?" haha. very cute and very fun to do.

Anyway--so we had our 4th to last matinee today and then went to tyler's house for a crazy scavenger hunt. soo many illegal things took place for teams to "win"...and by win I mean lose to the birthday boy who surprisingly won? Surprised much? But anyway, Monica and Robert and I formed the "3 G's" team...2 Gingers and a Gay. HA. So we went running throughout Meijer to get some of our list accomplished...and then after an hour, Monica accidently deleted EVERY SINGLE picture from her memory card. GONE in 2 seconds...so we went and redid every picture we already had..bahaha. But now we have pictures of me on top of a police car as part of our "list"...how? why?

So anyway, EXHAUSTED needless to say. Emotionally (from series of events) and physically drained. And yet I lay here typing at 2:25 AM, when I could be sleeping.

more tommorow.
many the miles.
meg

Imperfect.

I keep most of my blog upbeat and raving about the good things in life, but as I think we all know, things are not always perfect nor should we pretend that they are. As I sit here on a couch, in a house I dont feel like I belong to, or in, I realize this. Sometimes when I come home, I am faced with having to account for things that aren't right, things that make me feel less as a person. While I am not perfect and do not pretend to be for one moment, being belittled and to feel as if I am not welcome or a part of the house I grew up in...hurts. I don't write this for pity or for anything, but just to get it out. It really fucking hurts. And it's hard to come back to that. I heard once that people go into the entertainment industry for a sense of rewards...not awards or things like that, but for the reward of feeling worthwhile to someone, an audience member etc. And I truly believe there is truth in that. And as I sit here on this couch I sleep on whenever I come to Louisville, I do find it overwhelmingly sad that I feel this way, especially here.

Many the miles.
meg

vanilla chai.

Ok, so I haven't written in AGES...and by ages I mean about 2 weeks. So we've had about 14 shows, which translates into lots and lots of downtime and hair curling and going out and wine and being on campus and well, you get the idea.
I really didn't think I was going to be nostalgic about this show ending until the last few days (we've had a 5 day break from shows, so I went back to Louisville). And it's been weird not having my good friends close to me or down the street, even though it's only been for a few days!

Anyway, HTA did well at OCTA, I gotta admit, I've never been so nervous in my ENTIRE life as I was before we did our excerpt. I was sweating, it was gross. Beats SETC, auditions at school, everything. Whew. BUT I got in my car that day after everything was over and just completely burst into tears because it was really "over". I surprised myself, I haven't cried over a show since "Sound of Music" my freshmen year, but I did. I cried. I'm sappy, so there. :)

But all in all, this show has been a lot of fun, mainly because of the people in it.

Today, I found myself getting a Vanilla Chai from Heine Brothers and went and browsed 2 different Borders. I noticed something. In the fiction section, almost every book I picked up had something to do on leaving, on getting out. What does that say about us as people? That we're so trapped in our own lives that the only thing we can do is read about leaving our situations? Anyway, it got me thinking. Yesterday, I saw some family at our fourth of july...sometimes it can be a constant reminder of things that are imperfect and hard to explain. I found myself today dwelling on it, on the past, on things I can't change, til I began to dwell on the fact that I cant change it, and it's just imperfect.

many the miles.
meg :)

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