How to Return Home. pt2

So after a wonderful past few months with hardly any problems...a storm cloud has come through.

I know, I know, melodramatic. But, why is it my mom can make me feel like the biggest piece of crap within 10 minutes? My mom and I were starting to really get along, I was opening up to her (something I rarely do) and it was finally all pretty good. And then...I came home. Something about coming home after not being here a while is always tense. It irritates me that just b/c I'm home it means that if anyone in the house is unhappy for whatever reason, it immediately gets placed on me. I'm mad and upset. But I know why--Im upset b/c I dont like living here and would rather live at school and occasionally see my family (seeing as I get along with them better when I'm about 2 hours away and can screen my calls), and I'm mad because I feel like there's no out from here. It's as if it's easy to leave this house (whether that be to do a show elsewhere or to nku) but it's not easy returning. Why is that? I thought dad not being here would solve everything (and true, it makes us feel much safer) but still, I find myself dreading coming back to this even as much as I did years ago.

Anyway--I'm going to take advantage of this frustration and clean my room...and dream about going back to school.

meg