A Thought for Those Who are as Passionate as Me.

BAH. what is the deal? the last 2 days have just been...disappointing. Today was ruined by some comments made to me about my major at school after 10 AM...NEWSFLASH: do NOT discuss such things with me if you are misinformed about such things. I dont tell you how to run your business...dont tell me about jobs in the theatre. So that was frustrating.

I was furious in my megan way for about an hour when I came home...I'm a deep feeler. I know that sounds ridiculous but I just read a blog by a friend that admits the same thing...when I feel something, I FEEL it. When I'm sad, the tear ducts flood, when I'm angry watch out, excited? you'll be able to tell. Sometimes it's a blessing and a curse. But what I most hate is when me, my being, what I contribute to the world is brought under fire. And that's no good. I would rather hear this from someone who has known me for 5 seconds, not 21 years.

Thankfully my mom calmed me down, as did my little sister who is about to embark on the same profession. There is more to theatre than just Broadway. There's sooo many jobs, tours, children's theatre, internships, etc. that exist in the world, and at this point, most jobs are not safe. I refuse to be in a profession that I hate. I went to a school that I came to despise...Boyce. I loved a majority of the people but I distinctly remember the countless nights of sitting on my dorm bed at Boyce sobbing...I didnt know what I wanted, I was confused, and what's more is that absolutely NOTHING sparred this; no fight with anyone, no upset. I talked with my friend meagan rampley for hours...and finally one night, I just stopped crying, looked at her through my tear-brimmed eyes and said, "I have to go study theatre, i HAVE to" And she smiled, hugged me and said, "I knew you were going to say that". Everyone that was close to me understood that and patted my back saying, "good for you, for hearing that call now"...but there were others. Others who looked at me differently, that said things like, "You're only going to do CHRISTIAN theatre...right?" And I had to deal with them. They were mostly at church but dont think I didnt notice. When I did that show at UofL with a scene in my bra and panties, I knew what they were thinking, why would/could I do such a thing? But that is me and that is them. And ultimately, when I'm 30, I'll wake up every morning and do something. Whether that be a survival job or a theatre job, who knows? But I do know this. Some people are called to be ministers, some teachers, some entertainers. I may not make it to Broadway, but my life will be just as fufilling being an acting coach in Chicago/NewYork, or working for a theatre. And at the end of the day--that is my life.