Reflections.

Did you ever have one of those weeks that you just wanted to curl up in a blanket, sob your eyes out and listen to joni mitchell and not talk to anyone?

I have. And believe me, it's not been fun. This week was all kinds of emotions--auditions, other stuff, my great-grandma, cast lists being posted, finding out who real friends are....

I could just recap the week, but I'm not gonna lie, I really dont want to. I will, however, talk about my great-grandma. My great-grandma was thought to have been on her deathbed this past week. Her body was failing her. My grandma (nana) and her sisters were all at the hospital. I went to see them all before I went to an audition in Bardstown. I walked into the room and saw my great-grandma...she looked like she weighed almost nothing, with my white hair plastered to her face. My nana told me that she had been having (my ggrandma) her own tent revival telling them throughout the night how much Jesus loved them, and urging him to "hurry". It was as if she was in her sub-conscious. My ggrandma even started telling her life story--about how God has protected her from all kinds of things throughout her life. They said it was the most moving thing to hear.

My great-grandma woke up, and my nana said, "Megan came to see you mom!" My ggrandma looked at me and said, "oh megan! megan's here!" She kept saying, "Such a gift, such a gift from God!" She then went on about how Jesus loved me, how I need to lean on Him and "dont ever forget that." I had tears brimming in my eyes, as I calmly told her, "I know grandma, I know." My nana told her I was on my way to an audition, and my ggrandma responded, "So gifted, that voice, such a gift from God...sing for Jesus megan...sing for jesus." I couldn't believe that someone in their sub-conscious, on their deathbed, had that kind of faith. It was amazing to watch, and I will never forget that.

Not to sound preachy or anything, but God knew exactly what I needed. It's been a not-so-great morning and while I was in the middle of writing this blog, I got a phone call from one of my great friends in Louisville. I hadn't talked to her in so long and it was so nice to have a listening ear to hear about things that have been bothering me. We talked for almost an hour and a half and she reminded me of something. God is in complete control. That may seem like something I should always know, but I lost sight of that this week. I was glad she reminded me of that.